Friends????

I use to have a bunch of friends and now it's like, if I don't call I don't hear from them anymore.
My depression is deep and dark and my anxiety is spinning out of control.  The worst part is I have no one to talk to about how I feel. Everyone is either too busy, it's the time of year but still I have no friends close by I can talk too.  If it wasn't for my kids and family I would want to be dead.

I use to think I needed a man this time of year, but at my age it's friends I want and need.  I am writing this and crying my eyes out like a fool because I am alone.  Yesterday all the kids were here for Yule dinner.  It was awesome!  Today was taking stalk of my life, and there isn't anyone I could call and they would drop everything to come over for tea.  If Shan or Eva were closer I know they would but what happened to all my other friends?  I don't know even how to make new friends as I have this HUGE social anxiety issue.

Help me Goddess, I need to see the good in my life, there has to be more good in it than I see now.  Another couple of days and I will be with my family for their Christmas, I look forward to seeing everyone and their kids and my parents with my kids.  Then another let down after that.  Not sure how many more I can handle alone.

buses, trains and cars

well I've been back to work for a bit now, and I am liking it!  It feels good to leave my house every morning, even if its before the crack of dawn.  Either Faith drives me in when our shifts match up or I bus it to the train, let me tell you it sucks being on a bus with morning people they don't shut up!!  Waiting for the bus is another thing that bugs me, I am not going to talk to you or give you change if you are talking to yourself walking down the street when the sun isn't even up yet!  The train is lovely and quiet other than the announcer except if it's Thomas then I usually sit in his car because he's HOT! LOL

Work has been busy and good and I find I have a feeling of self there.  I've only seen my boss twice as they had a baby and now the poor baby boy is sick I pray he is protected and comes back soon.  However it is nice not having anyone to have to report myself too at all lol  I just do my job and feel good about it. 

Pissy Post

i have this great porch on the front of my house and it has now been taken over by my roomer!  he has bikes out there, does 'work' out there my friends won't even come over because of the mess of the porch and him always being out there.
I know I have to say something but I am so non-confrontational it's hard for me.  My dining room, living room and front hall and tiny kitchen also have been invaded, I won't even invite people over anymore.
I need his money but this is getting to be a huge problem and it isn't getting cleaned up no matter how many times I ask him to clean it up.
I have to say something UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh  I wish he would clean this shit up put it in his room or in the garage.
ok once his friends leave, I'm going to say something tonight.

Thank Goddess for GREAT people!

One of the food banks, well the only one I know about, was giving out grocery cards for people who were without power and lost their fridge contents.  I now have $50 to go to the grocery store and replace what I lost and get some staples into the house again.

Thankfully everyone on my street now has hydro power!!!  So grateful that we all made safely through the storm and the weather wasn't stinking hot on the days we were waiting for the power to return.

My you bask in the love of the God and Goddess in your life~~

Storms and no hydro, buses and trains

Friday we caught the tail end of a tornado, I have never been so terrified as when the sky turned the funny black grey colour, churning and then blam!  The great big Maple tree bent like Gumby and 3/4 of the tree came down and took out the hydro for our area.  It has not been fun at all, no way to cook anything no way to keep anything cold and of course being broke has not helped at all.  Thank Goddess, I came home today and our hydro was back on!  Sadly my friends on the street are still out.

Faith has driven me either to work or to the bus station this first week, I'm screwed for August she is on afternoon's.  However, I have been on city buses, the GO bus and trains, I miss my car!  It's been wonderful to see my old work friends again, so many faces I've loved and missed.

May the Goddess keep you all safe.

Back to Work for me...

Went to the doctor's today and he has decided to try putting me back into the work environment part time for 6 months and see if it helps or makes things worse.
Only good thing is a pay cheque.

Visiting time

no appointments until July 9th so I am at my sister's for the long Canada Weekend!

Innisfil!!

Here is a valuable owl knowledge along with something that is hard to do sometimes.

Owl Knowledge

Trying my best!

To all my Canadian friends, HAPPY CANADA DAY WEEKEND!!

Cupcake Cake!!

Have a safe one my friends