This is day 3 without a smoke, I have decided to quit, again. Hopefully I can do it this time.
This is Joe's 2nd weekend home and he said he would stop in to see me and I am stunned, he lied.
It is like his Dad and step Mother and his fiance
seem to be who he wants to spend his time with, not with me. I am hurt and afraid to say anything because I don't want to alienate him from my life. But I am soooooooooooooo angry, I feel dead inside being alone all the time. If it wasn't for Faith, I would never get out without the dog or get anything done. However no one comes to visit sit and talk to me make me forget I am alone all the time. I could die and no one would know and other than a small few, no one would care either. Yes I am on my medication, it is the lack of nicotine in my body fucking with me I guess. However death seems peaceful but couldn't take my own life without hurting my parents and possibly 1 of my sons. Well I am going to go watch a movie.
This is Joe's 2nd weekend home and he said he would stop in to see me and I am stunned, he lied.
seem to be who he wants to spend his time with, not with me. I am hurt and afraid to say anything because I don't want to alienate him from my life. But I am soooooooooooooo angry, I feel dead inside being alone all the time. If it wasn't for Faith, I would never get out without the dog or get anything done. However no one comes to visit sit and talk to me make me forget I am alone all the time. I could die and no one would know and other than a small few, no one would care either. Yes I am on my medication, it is the lack of nicotine in my body fucking with me I guess. However death seems peaceful but couldn't take my own life without hurting my parents and possibly 1 of my sons. Well I am going to go watch a movie.
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